Simmer "Relaxation Drink"

The "Simmer Relaxation Drink" is a very mysterious beverage that was pulled off of the shelves two days after it's release due to reports of terrible side-effects including: thoughts of suicide, burning, an insatiable desire for voting for members of the Communist Party of America, hypothermia, burning, transforming into algae, burning, the spawning of several varieties of cancer on a person simultaneously, burning, and death. It's probably totally safe to drink though, as it helps you calm down. Go low, simmer down brah.